


To Love Someone... is to let them go [2021 Revamp]

by FallinglntoPieces



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: 2021 Revamp, Bottom Gon Freecs, Hunter X Hunter 2011 - Freeform, Hunter x Hunter - Freeform, Hurt/Comfort, Killua x Gon - Freeform, Killugon - Freeform, Kirugon - Freeform, M/M, My First Fanfic, Not Incest, Post-Canon, Top Killua Zoldyck, Traveling, Zoldyck Siblings, hunterxhunter - Freeform, hxh - Freeform, killuaxgon - Freeform, separated
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-09
Updated: 2021-01-09
Packaged: 2021-03-13 11:21:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,136
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28652679
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FallinglntoPieces/pseuds/FallinglntoPieces
Summary: A few months after the end of the 2011 anime, Killua and Alluka are walking together as the sun sets. After catching her beloved Onii-chan thinking about 'him' again, Alluka starts a conversation about the future that throws Killua off guard. The 2021 Revamp of Fall's first KilluGon fanfic.[KILLUGON ONESHOT COMPLETE!]
Relationships: Killua & Alluka, Killua + Alluka, Killua Zoldyck & Alluka Zoldyck, Killua Zoldyck + Alluka Zoldyck, Killua Zoldyck X Gon Freecss, Killua Zoldyck/Gon Freecss, Killua x Gon, Killua/Gon
Comments: 3
Kudos: 45





	To Love Someone... is to let them go [2021 Revamp]

**Author's Note:**

> Happy New Year, everyone. I want to celebrate by looking back at my first-ever HunterxHunter KilluGon fanfic and giving it a revamp. Please enjoy the memories with me~

“Onii-chan, you're thinking about _him_ again, aren’t you?”

“Huh?” Killua blinked himself back into focus as he continued to walk slowly with his younger sister, the sun setting behind them. Gazing down at the map in his grasp, he remembered that he was supposed to be searching for the hotel he had booked them for the night. Also, he had no idea what Alluka had said, but the intonation indicated a question. “Yeah. We’re almost there.”

“I knew it!”

“Yup, you did.”

“You mean, I do. I have your hand~” Alluka gave a cheery smile, holding up their clasped hands. She was so cute to think she had come up with a witty joke. 

Killua’s facial features softened and he gave a small laugh. Pulling her closer towards him, the older brother kissed her delicate fingers with a gentle smile on his lips. Talking from his soul, the white-haired boy stated, “Not only my hand, Alluka, but I’m all yours. You can have me forever, if you’d like.”

“Onii-chan…” No little sister could not be in awe of such a statement of pure love. The brown-haired girl blushed and squeezed her beloved brother’s hand as she felt a hidden truth prick her heart. She frowned and her brows furrowed as she realized what his forever statement meant. In a childish show of emotion, Alluka threw their hands back down to their sides, but didn’t let go.

“Alluka?” Killua was confused. What had he said that had upset her so? They kept walking, but he kept his gaze upon her.

The Zoldyck sibling in question puffed out her cheeks in an adorable pout. Looking up at her brother, she mumbled, “That won’t be necessary, Onii-chan.”

“It won’t?”

“No… um… Nanika and I will find a lover someday - that we will love just as much as Onii-chan! Then we’ll live together with that person forever.”

_Where did this idea come from?_ Killua wanted to ask, but he knew that she probably wouldn’t give him a straight answer. Instead, he lightly forewarned in a teasing manner, “I won’t let them have you that easily.”

“Of course not,” Alluka agreed, knowing full well the protective side of the family member next to her, “so that’s why I will love them just as much as you, so you two can be friends!”

“Friends, huh?” In his mind, someone’s bright smile flashed by.

“Yeah,” the girl replied, giggling at the thought of being loved by another person as much as her brother already did. She liked the idea, but the prick became more prominent.

“And where would we live, do you think?”

“What do you mean?”

“With your lover. Where would you want us all to settle down, Alluka?” 

“Onii-chan, no.”

“We’d continue traveling? I know they would be your lover, but I won’t let them carry you when you get tired.”

It wasn’t often that Alluka would pull them to a halt. Concerned, Killua turned his head to check her expression. His stormy blue eyes widened in surprise and the map he was holding dropped to the cobblestone street. 

“Onii-chan,” she said in a weak voice, “when we find one, Nanika and I will stay with our lover. You, because I love Onii-chan, you should do… what you really want.” The small smile she showed him wasn’t so much sad as it was understanding. This was the first time the girl finally had the courage to speak the truth she had come to terms with after months of their traveling side by side. 

Alluka adored her Onii-chan more than anyone else in the entire universe. Nothing could change that, not even the best lover. However, she had learned about many new things on this journey with Killua. About many new places, foods, and people. About many new emotions, ideas, and ways of thought. What she had realized with this newfound knowledge was that sometimes her older brother would be physically next to her, but his mind would be elsewhere. The girl knew that each time it happened, Killua was thinking about _him_ , the person whose life Nanika had saved. 

For the brief time she had seen the pair of best friends together, she felt that the boy in green had a strong connection with Killua. Not that it seemed fragile on the surface, but, under those playful smiles and joking laughs, there was definitely a deep bond between the two that could only be one thing. Love. She imagined that love was why it must have been so painful for _him_. After they had been nearly inseparable for two whole years, that boy had let Killua go.

Alluka, in her growth, slowly became aware the goodbye had damaged her brother as well. She knew a kind and caring Onii-chan who vowed to keep her and Nanika safe while showing them the outside world. She was thankful for his dedicated promise to be there forever, every single step they took. But, Killua didn’t realize that his stifling devotion was just a coverup for the suffering the separation had caused. It made Alluka’s heart sting all the more, knowing the truth. That her brother would always continue to longingly think about being with _him_.

“It’ll probably be in a long time…” Alluka started, her face shadowed as she cast her gaze to the ground.

“I would never-” 

“And it will probably take me a long time to love that person as much as I love you…”

“I will never-”

“But when that day comes, Onii-chan… promise me now.”

“Alluka…”

Killua took a step towards her, ready to wrap his precious sister in a reassuring hug. He knew what was coming, unable to stop what was coming, but he wanted to show her how much he purely loved her in return. Even if someone else might be on his mind. She stepped back to avoid his embrace, but her hand still grasped his tightly.

“Onii-chan,” she repeated to the uneven cobblestones at her feet, “when that day comes, promise me that you’ll return to _him_. To the one who loved you so much he let you go.”

At a loss, the white-haired brother stretched out his free hand. Alluka let him gently lift her chin and bring their faces close. In the dying light of the sun, Killua studied the softly illuminated features of the younger sister he had sworn to protect until his final, ragged breath. He loved her more than she could ever imagine, but he had known for a while that she understood already. Understood that he indeed kept thinking about _him_. As they locked gazes, there was an earnest look in her sparkling blue eyes that hoped he would also come to terms with the exposed truth. 

Talking from his soul, Killua stated in a steady voice, “Alluka, I promise.”

**Author's Note:**

> My first KilluGon fanfic ever, I wrote this after I finished watching the 2011 anime. I hated Alluka so much for turning Killua into a creepy sis-con and stealing him away that I had to write this. I still hate her and dislike everything about her, but I think this turned out really well back then. It just needed a few touchups in word choice and character placement. Allukaaaaaaa! *rages*
> 
> [2021 Revamp]  
> Hello, everyone! After a very busy fuyu yasumi (winter vacation), I have found myself wanting to review all my published KilluGon works: oneshots, finished works, abandoned projects, and everything in between. I have decided to do a 2021 Revamp in order to promote myself on other social media (Twitter and Instagram). The 2021 Revamp will include covers for each fic, more relevant tags (PLEASE HELP ME), revised word choice, and small to large edits as I see fit. I hope you'll reread and share the KilluGon fanfic love with me!


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